BEHAVIORAL STYLES AND DEALING
WITH DIFFERING VIEWS
by Phyllis Weiss Haserot
Any organization composed
of more than one person runs into the need for consensus building from
time to time. At least once in a while, everyone you need to deal with
doesn't see eye to eye. As law firm marketers and leaders, we need to
build consensus and resolve conflicts frequently or our great ideas
go nowhere. This takes sensitivity, skill and creativity - especially
in the context of a partnership culture.
BEHAVIORAL STYLES AND PREFERENCES
In learning how best to build rapport, get support and work with a wide
range of people, it is useful to know their behavioral styles and preferences.
There are several assessment tools to help us identify styles and preferences:
DiSC Personal Profile System
There are two popular and effective methods of identifying personality
types among others.The DiSC Personal Profile System (the original DiSC
instrument) identifies four styles: dominant or direct; influencing;
steadiness or supportiveness; and conscientiousness (DiSC) and their
combinations which comprise 15 classical styles. The DiSC system, with
its many variations and situation-specific applications, focuses on
behavioral styles rather than core personality. It is an easy instrument
to use, and since behaviors can change situationally, is useful in building
consensus. Knowing your own style and the characteristics, needs and
fears of the others helps you adapt words and actions to relate best
to the needs and agendas of clients, prospects and colleagues in the
firm whose styles you can learn to "read."
A new tool, DiSC Indra (In-Depth Relationshjip Assessment)
applies the DiSC model to interpesonal style. It is especially useful
for pairs, teams and groups for realizing the impact of personal behavior
on others and how to improve working relationships.
Team Dimensions
This instrument is very useful
in building teams and achieving innovation. There are five styles: Creator
- Advancer - Refiner - Executor - Facilitator. Very often in organizational
situations, managers are frustrated because they ask people to serve
in roles that go against their natural tendencies, for example asking
a "creator" type to execute the details, or a born "refiner",
one who takes another person's ideas and improves upon them, to come
up with original, innovative ideas. Using the Team Dimensions tool,
the members of a group or team have a self-assessment tool for understanding
their and their colleagues' preferred styles and roles. Then appropriate
roles can be delegated so that the tasks proceed most effectively and
productively.
Identifying and working with these personality and behavior types is
intended to foster understanding and sensitivity and adapting to situations,
rather than fundamental change of style (which is virtually impossible
anyway). When people are on the same wavelength, the chances of collaboration
are increased.
The Myers-Briggs Type
Indicator
Another well-known and respected
instrument is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a tool for identifying
16 patterns which characterize personality preferences. They are combinations
of the following:
Introvert/Extrovert
Intuitive/Sensing
Thinker/Feeler
Perceive/ Judge
The MBTI is a powerful tool for understanding not only personal development,
but also for analyzing the developmental needs of an organization. Like
the DiSC, it can help to understand a client representative's (officers,
managers, etc.) motives and needs and the way he or she will perceive
and deal with the information received.
The basic "attitudes" of personality are: introversion - energy
goes inward; and extroversion - tends outward toward action and expression.
The basic preferences receiving information are sensation - focus on
present time, here-and-now facts, attentive to details; and intuition
- focus on future time, possibilities.
The basic preferences for processing information are functions of judgment:
thinking - makes judgments that are logical, objective, impersonal and
value fairness; and feeling - subjective and concerned with personal
values, often deciding based on awareness of others' feelings.
Lastly is the basic preference for facing the world: the judging stance
likes planning and control of events, order, structure and decisiveness;
the perceiving stance prefers openness to what may come, spontaneity
and gathering more information.
DEALING WITH DIFFERING AND DIFFICULT PEOPLE
We will always have to deal at times with "difficult" people
and those who see things differently from ourselves. Friction or conflict
can occur. Remember that people resist giving ground because of fears
of being bested, being embarrassed, losing face or losing control.
Active listening should be used to: find out what the primary intent
of the consensus-busters is. What is the driver of the particular situation?
Use it to build bridges. Assume there is a positive intention and identify
it. Ask questions to get on the person's "train" and mirror
his or her style and conversation tone and intensity. Equally important,
mirror the body language. Then articulate your own positive intent -
or what the firm is trying to do. It is important at this point not
to challenge the intent, opinions or behavior. The mediator and the
other side should be trying to understand, sympathize and reach common
ground to begin to bring others over to their point of view or mission.The
steps above are useful for dealing with difficult people.
Beyond that, remember that while you cannot change a person's personality,
behaviors can be changed. You can influence behavior change by the way
you approach, speak to and respond to a person's behavior tendencies.
The way to begin is to assure that you maintain a positive mindset,
no matter how difficult that is at times when faced with negative attitudes
and actions from others. Here are some tactics that usually prove successful.
- Don't be defensive.
Don't take the negativism personally. Many, if not most, negative
people, perhaps particularly lawyers, don't realize they are being
negative - it's the natural way they think, reinforced by their
training to look for all the reasons things can't work.
- Get a dialogue going.
Ask open-ended questions and listen showing your interest, that
what they think and say matters to you.
- Throw them the ball.
Let them list all the reasons "why not" and then ask:
what are the most important things to them? Focus on one or two
items of most concern to them and ask for their suggestions to address
those concerns. Keep asking for constructive, productive suggestions,
and only continue the conversation as long as they are willing to
be constructive.
- Give them a role.
Involve the people with negative or opposing attitudes by listening
to their opinions, giving them options as to how to get done what
is needed, empower them to make decisions - not just blame someone
else for their inability to act.
- Establish accountability.
Communicate goals for performance and hold them accountable. Accountability
is fostered by tracking behaviors, progress on actions, and giving
constructive feedback on improvements.
- Reinforce strengths.
Point out their skills, accomplishments and strengths. Many negative
people are insecure and lack self-confidence and self-esteem, no
matter what professional accomplishments they have under their belts.
- Create an environment of encouragement.
The most effective ways to do this are to foster a culture of showing
appreciation, giving positive feedback, treating everyone fairly,
and articulating clear goals and expectations.
- Focus on the present and the future.
Don't dwell on past history and baggage. If necessary, talk it out
and put it to rest, then concentrate on what is now and what needs
to be done for mutual benefit.
- Keep the focus on the big picture.
Don't get derailed by the details to the detriment of where you
want to go.
- Call a time out.
Set a time limit for immersion in a negative situation or with a
difficult person. Move away from it for a while, and come back after
time for reflection and re-energizing.
- Reinforce positive behaviors.
Follow up with praise for cooperation and resolution of differences.
If there is no improvement after a reasonable amount of time, it
may be necessary to point out consequences and revisit the action
plan.
The internal dynamics within and organiation,
particularly a partnership, can be frustrating and destructive of
maximum productivity. Dealing successfully with the behaviors and
personalities requires savvy use of interpersonal skills, awareness
of the principles of influence, belief in one's self - and often,
a good coach.
©;Phyllis Weiss Haserot,
2003
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
This article contains excerpts
from Chapter 41 of THE RAINMAKING MACHINE: Marketing, Planning, Strategies,
and Management for Law Firms (West Group, 2003). A version of it appeared
in the New York Law Journal, June 13, 2000.
Click here
for information on the assessment tools.