Practice Development Counsel

Published in The New York Times, June 29, 2003

Letter to the Editor, Sunday Business Section

Re: "More Sons Are Juggling Jobs and Care for Parents" by Maggie Jackson, June 15, 2003

by Maggie Jackson, June 15, 2003

To the Editor:

When will men liberate themselves from the burden of holding back the knowledge and talking about their family responsibilities - whether for child care or elderly parents? Even though many said that they feel no stigma in the workplace about their elder care responsibilities , still few men talk about it to their bosses or colleagues at work. This no doubt adds to their stress, which decreases productivity, and it shields employers from the pressure to provide flexible schedules and resources to help people who must come to the aid of their parents.

This mirrors the situation regarding desire for flexible schedules for child care and other personal time needs and wants. I continue to point out whenever given an opening that these are not women's issues - they are everybody's issues - male, female, with and without spouses and children. Everybody has parents at some time in life, and they are becoming an issue for life/caretaking in greater numbers for people with demanding careers. Everyone has a right to person time and the pursuit of outside interests.

Men are much more reluctant than women to talk among their friends and to their supervisors about wanting and needing some alternatives to the all-consuming work environments we find ourselves inhabiting. To admit these desires is still perceived as being less than committed to work. Somehow men think it's all right for women to be perceived as such, and so this is still considered a "women's issue." But it is everybody's issue.

We need more male role models who are not afraid to tell the world that they hold a demanding job and yet demand to have time to fulfill personal responsibilities and spend time with their families - "to have a life." That kind of display of courage will make things better for everyone.

Phyllis Weiss Haserot
President, Practice Development Counsel
New York, NY

tel: 212 593-1549
fax: 212 980-7940

pwhaserot@pdcounsel.com
www.pdcounsel.com