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In her New York Times magazine article “Let the Kid Be” (May 31, 2009), Lisa Belkin traces the history of parenting trends and says we are now beginning to see a shift from “overly enmeshed parenting” which sometimes led to micro-managing children (and, I will add, sometimes attempting to micro-manage teachers and employers)) to “free-range parenting.” Book writers and bloggers are confessing their lack of perfection and proclaiming that a good parent doesn’t worry so much.

Perhaps that will give professors and employers the courage to push back and retake their rightful place as determiners and deciders of grades and job offers. Even better, the new trend may foster young workers’ growth in self-sufficiency that is appropriate for their age and education level.

Belkin wrote “We may even see parents stop aiming to prove how perfect they are and start trying to prove how nonchalant they are. But worry is worry. The search to keep from messing up goes on.”

As a quick overview of the parenting philosophies Belkin points out in her article, we note:

• In the 1920s, rigid feeding schedules were popular, leading to two decades of emphasizing discipline.
• Dr. Spock’s “trust your instincts” advice influenced the rearing of the Baby Boomers by their parents who devoured his teachings.
• Since then we have moved on to the phenomenon of parents and children as buddies,
• And the “quality time” mantra to compensate for quantity of time.
• Dr. T. Berry Brazelton’s “touchy-feely parenting” and focus on self-esteem advice read by Boomer parents helped shape the Gen Y/Millennials.
• Many Gen Xers bought into overly-consuming parenting and the resulting increase in work/life stress.

Now perhaps we are experiencing an effort to relax a bit generated either from insight or exhaustion?

 

I thought the history of parenting trends is worth noting as we attempt to understand and deal with the generational patterns of behavior in the workplace. These philosophies and trends obviously influenced to some significant degree the expectations and behaviors we have seen each generation play out in the workplace. They help to explain and reinforce the formative influences and different world views each generation tends to exhibit and the need to relate to each somewhat differently while getting to know each person as an individual.

Please share your thoughts.

Phyllis

© Phyllis Weiss Haserot, 2010. All rights reserved. 

* The generational chronology for easy reference: Generations are defined by the similar formative influences – social, cultural, political, economic – that existed as the individuals of particular birth cohorts were growing up. Given that premise, the age breakdowns for each of the four generations currently in the workplace are approximately:
Traditionalists: born 1925-1942
Baby Boomers born 1943-1962
Generation X born 1963-1978
Generation Y/Millennials born 1979-1998

Phyllis is available to speak at your organization or at firm retreats on inter-generational relations and organizational effectiveness topics. Call or e-mail for a list of topics or to custom-tailor your own.