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Leading up to Fathers Day it was hard to miss the deluge of articles (and they’re still coming): “The Daddy Juggle;” “The Increasing Choice to Be a Stay-at-Home Dad;” “The Rise of the Hands-On Dad,” for example, in the major business media including the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. It is still a small minority, and stigmas do still exist - including from those stay-at-home moms who don’t want to include the unrelated dads in their social groups. Nonetheless the percentage increase in stay-at-home and highly involved dads has been significant and not mainly attributable to recessionary forces.

For 15 years I have said that men and employers won’t be pushed to accept flexible ways of working as a need for all generations and genders and ultimately a productivity and loyalty benefit for the organization until the men begin to speak out as the women have, so that employers and communities have to take notice of a potentially “everyone’s problem.” The need for flexibility is not confined to parents or couples.

Is the workplace now ready to adapt faster to flexibility for everyone?

Will most women, working or non-working, adapt?

Let’s be honest: Societal cultural change, of which we have seen a lot in the last decade or two – is never easy or easily tolerated by everyone. So while working women who have long been asking for more help from male spouses/partners for domestic responsibilities, even some of the women may have difficulty “letting go” of some of the childcare tasks they historically have been expected to fulfill. They may think they actually do them better. If men want to take care of children will women then have to change light bulbs and lift, repair or (fill in your favorite stereotypical male chore).

How will this shift affect the perceptions and contributions of grandmothers who may enjoy being caretakers for their grandchildren (maybe more fun than full-time raising their own children)?

My preference has always been for both females and males to take the roles they want and do best and work it out between them.  That’s how my family  (two generations of it) has operated. Not perfect, but overall more fulfilling than being forced into traditional roles that no longer make sense for the productivity and happiness of everyone.

The balance doesn’t have to be equal, though the compensation, respect and appreciation for whoever occupies a particular role should be. For some of the readjustment, legislation is appropriate; some of the change will come only with an emotional shift of mindset. 

Factors such as national culture, religion, political leanings, as well as generational influences can be quite determinant of beliefs and behaviors. And I reiterate that flexibility should not just be for parents or couples.

I urge everyone to be open-minded about roles at work and at home. It’s time to redesign work so it works for all generations and genders. I urge cross-generational conversation about these subjects at work as well as at home. As business wants agility, we also need broad flexibility to support it – flexible arrangements and flexible minds.

To some people, some of what I have written may be controversial. Please send your thoughts on these observations to me at pwhaserot@pdcounsel.com or comment on the Cross-Generational Conversation group on LinkedIn.

Phyllis

© Phyllis Weiss Haserot, 2014. All rights reserved.

* The generational chronology for easy reference: Generations are defined by the similar formative influences – social, cultural, political, economic – that existed as the individuals of particular birth cohorts were growing up. Given that premise, the age breakdowns for each of the four generations currently in the workplace are approximately:

Traditionalists:                           born 1925-1942   

Baby Boomers                            born 1943-1962

Generation X                              born 1963-1978

Generation Y/Millennials             born 1979-1998    

Struggling with how to achieve vital knowledge transfer among the generations? Ask about our workshop “Avoiding the Cliff: the Relationship Side of Succession Planning and Knowledge Transfer”

For coaching, training and special programs on inter-generational challenges for and among 4 generations in the workplace, attracting and retaining clients and employees of different generations, and maximizing the potential of young professionals and work teams, call or email Phyllis for an exploratory talk or complimentary coaching session-15: 212-59349 or pwhaserot@pdcounsel.com. Ask about our signature program *Frontrunner 5: 5 Things to Know About Each Generation that Will Change How You Interact, Persuade, Recruit, Retain and Sell.”

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Phyllis is available to speak at your organization or at firm retreats on inter-generational relations and organizational effectiveness topics. Call or e-mail for a list of topics or to custom-tailor your own.